Hope is Two Months old today! Wow. What a thought.
Pondering that has brought me to the realization that two months worth of time passing is not always the same amount of time at all (depending on the months being considered).
For example, the last two months of my pregnancy was most certainly without a doubt a MUCH LONGER period of time than the first two months I have spent with our beautiful baby girl. Those last two months before her birth passed so slowly… One day at a time those months dragged by at an almost unbearably slow pace. Hot, swollen, hot, clumsy, tired, hot, impatient, nesting, hot … did I mention hot???
I can laugh now, looking back.
Isn’t that a nice way of clarifying that it wasn’t funny then? ; )~
I remember the nights of getting up to pee 8+ times a night. Those nights are especially memorable after the point where it became a major effort just to roll over in bed. I realized one night that effort it took to climb into bed, lie down, roll over, tuck in a pillow to support my belly, and be ready to go to sleep was an exhausting amount of work! But then take all that effort and work, multiply by two (repeat all steps backwards to get out of bed, then again to get back in), and then repeat the entire process 8+ times a night for bathroom trips what seemed like every 30 minutes… No wonder I was always tired!!!
I remember trips to the store, or the movie theatre, or out ‘somewhere’ just to be anywhere that had an air-conditioner! Even better yet, trying to figure out exactly how long I could get away with intently studying the ingredients of packages of frozen food in the grocery isles (while standing in front of the open freezer door) before someone caught on. Our local Smiths grocery store has a walk in beer cooler. Let me tell you, a very pregnant woman in the middle of a hot summer day in the desert couldn’t ask for a better place – (aside from the odd looks a pregnant woman surrounded by beer cases gets)!
These last two months since her birth have been wonderful. They have passed so quickly that were it not for the calender I would be hard pressed to believe it has been that long. At times I still have a hard time grasping the concept that I am a ‘mom’ now. Richard is a ‘dad’. We have a beautiful daughter. (I think it’s time to insert another mental “Wow” here) I still have to stop and simply marvel at her, even after two months! I remember so clearly the moment she was born and I first saw her, and seconds later as I first held her in my arms. In that moment, it was all worth it. The months of difficulty, the labor, everything … it was all worth it and nothing mattered anymore but that beautiful little miracle I held in my arms.
Two months old already. I’m going to miss these months. I am torn between excitement and anticipation watching Hope grow, change, mature, respond, smile … and a strange sadness that she is growing and changing so quickly already. I am enjoying every day with my little girl (asleep on my lap as I type this). Reminds me of something I keep on the desktop of my laptop as a reminder when things get too busy:
We have this moment to hold in our hands,
and to touch as it slips through our fingers like sand.
Yesterdays gone, and tomorrow may never come,
but we have this moment today.